Book ‘Em, Dano


Police questioned schoolkids about brownies, name-calling, a zombie drawing

Citizens! You can sleep sound in your beds tonight knowing that the police are on the job round the clock at local elementary schools making certain that kids using politically incorrect language in the third grade will be stopped immediately lest their juvenile delinquency and anti-social tendencies are put a stop to immediately. As Barry Goldwater said, “Extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice.”

At William P. Tatem Elementary police rushed in to question a third grader about alleged racist remarks about the brownies. Listen to this! The racist punk said that the brownies were “made out of burnt black people.” Fortunately his other third-grade classmates were on the alert and and no doubt immediately called the police on their cel phones. At a minimum he should be put out in the schoolyard in stocks with I AM A RACIST spray painted on his forehead as a lesson to the other third graders they’ll be unlikely to forget.

This elementary school looks to be a potential hotbed of crime as also at Tatem police were called to look at the drawing of a second grader of a zombie holding a gun. A kid drawing a zombie holding a gun! What kind of sick perv is drawing stuff like this in the second grade?! What’s happened to America when this kind of mental illness is showing up in our grade schools? Thank God that Tatem is reporting these criminal types to the Authorities so that they can be sent to re-education camps run by the Democratic National Front so that any kind of racially insensitive remarks, violent drawings or calling each other names can be stamped out entirely before this spreads into the high schools.

This country has gone out of control and it’s all because of Liberal pussies who, instead of just sending in cops after the trouble has already occurred, are drawing the line at strip searching them every morning and having them waterboarded to get information on any of the other kids who might be planning a school bombing.

Eternal vigilance is the price of Liberty, as Thomas Jefferson said while playing hide the salami with Sally Hemings.  And the Chinese lead us on vigilance as well. Imagine an American women with the smarts to call the cops to arrest her cheating husband and have him caught red-handed as well with 40 smuggled primates that were being kept in a room inside the residence.

OK kids! Remember this message brought to you by Bobby Fuller:

Later on True Outsider we’ll be taking a closer look into the death of  young Bobby, a lad of 23, from asphyxiation.  His reworking of the Buddy Holly classic had rocketed him to fame in 1966 shortly before he’d been mysteriously beaten and doused in gasoline. Why? That’s the mystery.

Some of the rumors involved the mob. Most of the murders I’ve been investigating lately have been mob-related in one way or another. There’s a bigger story behind most common-day events. As a matter of fact, I can sense the slim, bony fingers of the mob at work at Tatem Elementary School combing the ranks of the second-graders for those they think have what it takes.

They need to recruit early, before the military gets them.

If the mob didn’t rub out Bobby could it have been a love affair with his own stardom gone wrong? Was he perhaps in some twisted relationship with himself, the kind ascribed by David Bowie to Ziggy Stardust. “Making love to his Ego! Ziggy sucked up into his mind! Like a leper Messiah.”

When I first heard that I thought he said Leopard Messiah. Like an Aztec God. But when I realized it was Leper… it was like…. gross! Who would listen to a leper Messiah? If he was that personally fucked up, how could he bet the Messiah? Wow… I googled some images of lepers to post one, but got too freaked out!

What else should we talk about? Any suggestions?  I’m open… Well. Deutsche Bank is saying European banks are fucked and somebody better their shit together or as bush would say, “”This suckers going down.” Maybe send in Hank Paulsen. I can only imagine what they nutjob is up to these days. Transcendental Meditation with David Lynch?

Memo to David: Hey.. in your next film why not cast some real monsters instead of all that fakey bullshit? See if you can get Donald Rumsfeld and Paul Wolfowitz. Yeah. I know you don’t know who they are. Do a google search.

Hey. I’m just kidding. I love David’s Films. John Ford, Howard Hawks, Orson Welles, Stanley Kubrick, David Lynch… The genius of Hollywood moves to ever greater heights.  And we wait expectantly for new masterpieces by the up and comer Harmony Korine. Maybe a remake of Birth of a Nation.

But seriously, folks, will you listen to this shit just in on the wire!??@? 🙂

Who is that guy talking? I think it’s the elusive Bart Johnson, who’s been hired as manager of the Banksy Tour 2017

About trueoutsider

I'm an artist.
This entry was posted in Art and Money, End of Art and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Book ‘Em, Dano

  1. Eric Wayne says:

    I wanted to see the drawing of a zombie with a gun. But, dammit, I guess it was too controversial to share.

  2. trueoutsider says:

    You and me both. Another budding artist crushed by the man before he ever got started… no doubt he’ll have to undergo years of therapy dealing with the trauma of being labelled a degenerate artist in 2nd grade. Talk about a police state..

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