From Porcelain Urinal to Gold Toilet: Recent Breakthroughs in Avant Garde Art

cattelanUpcoming Presidential debates look to be enlightening as Trump has invited Gennifer Flowers to sit front and center and lo and behold, she’s accepted the invitation. But wait! Mike Pence has stepped in to say this will not stand! So this is fast breaking and no doubt by the time anyone reads my post we’ll be well into some new are of total absurdity. I can’t wait.

Here’s a good one from CNN. The Director of National Intelligence (now there’s an oxymoron for you) James Clapper tackles the question: Is the US at risk of becoming a failed nation-state? At risk? We barreled right through that risk a while back. Aren’t any of these guys paying attention? They haven’t drawn any conclusions yet with Donald Trump and Hillary set to go mano -a- womano with Gennifer Flowers in attendance? America isn’t a country; it’s a reality TV show at this point. Just look at the latest masterpiece the Guggenheim has added to it’s collection (see below…where it belongs).

Meanwhile, in the Risking a Failed State News. Go ahead pick a few:

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2016/sep/25/three-adults-found-dead-in-california-home-after-child-calls-911

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2016/jun/03/mother-suspected-of-after-three-boys-bodies-found-at-phoenix-home

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2015/sep/27/california-car-to-car-shooting-crime-spree-arrest

http://edition.cnn.com/2016/09/25/us/university-of-illinois-shooting/index.html

Video Shows Maryland Police Pepper-Spraying 15-Year-Old Girl

http://www.latimes.com/local/lanow/la-ln-me-northridge-shooting-20160925-snap-story.html

http://www.detroitnews.com/story/news/local/wayne-county/2016/09/23/suspect-slayings-got-tsa-clearance-worked-metro/90922612/?utm_source=fark&utm_medium=website&utm_content=link&ICID=ref_fark

http://www.nbcnews.com/politics/politics-news/white-house-contractors-leaked-email-reveals-secret-service-plans-michelle-n652621

http://www.latimes.com/local/lanow/la-me-ln-santa-ana-library-adv-snap-story.html

For the full article see: http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/clown-arrested-kentucky-lurker-sightings-6th-us-state-a7326566.html

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2016/sep/24/washington-shooting-four-people-killed-in-mall-attack

http://www.latimes.com/local/lanow/la-me-ln-man-threw-urine-mcdonalds-employee-20160923-snap-story.html

http://thehill.com/blogs/in-the-know/297519-kim-kardashian-is-considering-voting-for-trump

I’m forwarding these links among 30 0r 40 others to the Director of National Intelligence for him to put into his precise calibrations of whether we are at risk of becoming a failed nation state. The real question at this point is which state will be first to declare secession. Maybe the Spaceman running for election up in Vermont has that curveball up his sleeve.

Meanwhile, in the high arts the brilliant intellects and supertalented artists are creating  fresh and thought provoking artworks. America a failed state? What? When you can pay 20 bucks and stand in line for two hours to take a dump in a golden toilet titled “America”? That’s what freedom is all about!

And thanks to our rich elite, major museums and high culture art critics there’s no worry that art will fail, as it reaches one astonishing milestone after the next.

Waiting to Pee in “America,” the Gold Toilet at the Guggenheim

I just love Hyperallergic, I gotta tell ya…. Where else could I find out that Marina Abramovic, the presiding genius of Conceptual Performance Enlightenment Art, thinks that aboriginal Australians look like dinosaurs. That to Western eyes “they look terrible.” No doubt they need a bath. We certainly don’t want them in the US as they’d skew our standing as the most hygienic people on the planet (see this post on our standing). As she says, “Nothing prepares you for the ubiquitous dirt and the overwhelming smell” when meeting Australia’s first inhabitants.

This is reminiscent, for me, of a passage  in Tom Powers great book, The Killing of Crazy Horse, where he reports a white woman’s reaction to Native Americans (some things never change I guess).  Andy Warhol also complained about Jean Michel B’s B.O. in the Warhol Diaries. But Andy can hardly be blamed as he came from a time way back in history before political correctness became de rigeur.

Too bad Marina is barely literate and that her descriptions are those a somewhat unimaginative (not to mention demented) 8 year old would write:

Their [aboriginals’] faces are like no other faces on earth; they have big torsos (just one bad result of their encounter with Western civilization that is a high-sugar diet that bloats their bodies) and sticklike legs.

Political correctness is so great. Thanks Hyperallergic for getting on this breach of the rules.

If only PC had been around back in 1875 then comments like the following from Caroline Frey Winne might have been stifled and she could have been banished from polite liberal society and the genocide of the Native Americans in the West might have been prevented.

Winne recoiled when she encountered them [Indians] in the streets. Indians filled her with terror–not fear of rape or murder, exactly, but of them–their painted faces, the animal skins in which they wrapped themselves, what they ate, their words like grunts, “their nasty little papooses,” their relentless begging, their desire to touch, their frank curiosity about her.

“It was not pleasant to say the least to look up and find your windows darkened by ‘Lo’ and his brethren and wives and children, their dirty painted faces pressed close to the glass. They are poor miserable creatures. It would be a great mercy to them if they would all freeze to death as many of them have this winter.”

Thomas Powers, The Killing of Crazy Horse

We Americans have always been known for our “great mercy” when it comes to dealing with undesirables, along with their “nasty little papooses.” And we no longer have to employ crude 19th century weaponry as computer guided missiles make it a clean and thorough operation. (See Helen Mirren in Eye in the Sky for details).

Small wonder that Marina is so deeply loved as she’s shown us as well just how demented her ancestors sexual practices were in charming ethnographic films like this one. We did our best to clean up this area of the world but when dealing with people like the ones below that Marina has captured in their true natures what can one expect but failure? How could people like these ever be civilized? Well, thanks to artists like Marina we can see just how people like those in the Balkans and in the Australian outback are just too far gone to enter the ranks of a civilized people who wait in line for two hours to take a shit in a golden toilet.

How Clapper could have the idea that America is in decline I can’t imagine. With our greatest art critics like Arthur Danto swooning before the genius of Marina and her sexy spirituality (surpassing even Yoko’s if you ask me), I see no reason to doubt that American culture will continue to shine as the cultural beacon guiding  Europe and the rest of the world into the new Golden (toilet) Dawn. (Note that Hyperallergic reports that most of the people in line to use the golden toilet were European. If Europeans love it, it’s gotta be the height of sophistication!)

As for me, I’m counting down the days to the upcoming exhibition at the Denver Art Museum:

Star Wars™ and the Power of Costume

Thank you corporate America and other public minded institutions for insuring our museums bring us the greatest Art on Earth! Instead of just seeing art in films we get to see the actual art (the costumes actors wear) in our museums. If only the Director of National Intelligence could get around to our high art museums he’d see that unlike the other civilizations that all fell, America’s will last forever by making art that’s not only educational but it’s for folks of all ages and levels of intelligence. Just like our Presidential candidates speaking the language of 6th graders, our artists and art museums do the same.

 

 

About trueoutsider

I'm an artist.
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4 Responses to From Porcelain Urinal to Gold Toilet: Recent Breakthroughs in Avant Garde Art

  1. Hi Don, where have been ‘man’ you missed August, were you on vacation or partying with that Sir Keef Richards again?

  2. I hope it was more vacation than work pal, I’m glad to see you are back with a vengeance. Stay away from those Museums especially at night you might see the artist ‘Dick Van Dyke’, catch you later Donny boy.

  3. trueoutsider says:

    Thanks, K-man. Heres one for your musical entertainment and edification. A swingin’ number from Bull Moose Jackson. They don’t write ’em like this anymore.:

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