Congrats to Bob Dylan

kubrickGreat to see the Nobel Committee has finally stopped giving out awards to duds like T.S. Eliot, Faulkner, Hemingway, Steinbeck, Bellow and other surly males lacking the kind of sensitivity that Bob Dylan with his concerns for racial justice and the end of war and the bohemian lifestyle in general has in spades. (not a racial reference!).

Although, personally, I’d rather have seen the award go to more deserving writers such as Stephen King or Lena Dunham whose work has the common touch and speaks to the heart without complicating things all up as Dylan often allows himself to do. I like to do it myself, but I’m not a great poet like Bob so it mainly comes out as gibberish.

But listen, Bob, seriously. Just because one considers himself a poet is no reason to keep using references to literary figures like Rimbaud and Verlaine that people aren’t going to get at all, particularly those in their early years, the younger generation who we’re all depending on to carry forth the lighter of Western Literature. Mr. Know It All Showoff!

Like the other Nobel Lit Prize winners of the past few years! Come on, you guys. Enough with boring your readers to death! Imagine the string of prizes going to writers like JMG LeClezio, Jose Saramago, Wislawa Szymborska, Naguib Mahfouz, Tomas Transtromer, Kenzaburo Oe, Wole Soyinka in the past. Were the Nobel Members drunk? Who can even pronounce those names, much less read any of them?

It’s about time an American White Male won this award. So it comes as the greatest relief that they at least chose our greatest representative. But another criticism:  if the Committee had a any sense of justice  they’d have also given Bob the Nobel Peace Prize. Other great warriors for Peace like  Barack Obama and Henry Kissinger and Yitzhak Rabin have gotten theirs. These are men who have moved the world away from the nightmarish savagery of the past into this era of brotherhood we all enjoy.

And certainly Bob with his insightful lyrics about misunderstood psychopathic thugs like  Joey Gallo has shown us how homicidal maniacs also have their sensitive side, which they acquire by reading Wilhelm Reich and Friedrich Nietzsche while in prison for murder.

I know the lyrics are almost unintelligible given Dylan’s singing voice but the effort made to listen to them are more than amply rewarded with the blinding illumination this great Poet has delivered regularly throughout his career:

Of course when men like Kissinger and Obama were given their prizes the Nobel committee wasn’t in its current politically correct state, so the acknowledgement of Dylan which is long overdue is hopefully a sign they’re moving in the right direction… back to a time when the Nobels really meant something with members unafraid of the P.C. Police and were ready to support the real Police!  And I’m not talking about Sting!

But speaking of Sting, there we have  another great writer who is no doubt deeply disappointed due to choice of an American when any music lover knows that the Sting songbook and certainly Lennon-McArtney were simply disregarded entirely due to their not being Americans. Hey, Brits! Eat our dust! We’re better than you! And it’s about time the Nobels (stupid fucking Swedes!) recognized us with the Award we deserve.

And you, Nobel Peace Prize committee! Get with it, bumpkins!

Let’s have a joint award shared between Hillary and Beyonce next year once Hillary  cleaned up all these global aggressions going on against us. And Beyonce has settled down racial tensions with some more dance videos.

Or perhaps Barack can get another one in the first threesome Peace Prize? As he is still hard at work today sending a message to Yemen that we’re at war with them. To be honest, I think the main reason Barack might not really deserve another Peace Prize is by being so weak he’s in fact encouraged even pipsqueak countries like Yemen to think they can take a crack at us. I have no doubts in regard to Hillary being weak. No! She is tough as nail, as Mr. Putin is sure about to find out. Imagine the nerve of the guy hacking her emails in a feeble attempt to get Donald Trump elected!

That’s right, Barack Hussein Obama.  Your continual weakness has given every little one of these towelheads the notion that they can get away with kicking their desert sand in our face. Nuke some the fuckers, like Hillary is prepared to do! See if they keep up with their aggressions then.

Just wait until Hillary steps up to the plate, she’ll teach all these basket of deplorables a lesson just like she did Quadafi. “We came. We saw. He died.!” Get the message, you backwards savages!

If you didn’t the first time, here it is again. We laugh in your face, motherfuckers!:

And you know how Muammar died? A bayonet shoved up his rectum! And shot several times for good measure. What a laugh, right? Hillary isn’t just a brilliant policy wonk, she’s also got a great sense humor. And he got what he deserved because he didn’t do what we told him to do! That’s how justice gets meted out when you’ve got God on your side, right Bobby? Profound lyrics coming up! Listen! Absorb! Repeat them to your neighbors. Or sing them as you hold hands and sing kumbaya and other ethnic tunes showing your love of all humanity as we are all one! Innocent children with hearts as big as the great outdoors (what are left of them).

But, really, Nobels! This Dylan is a bit over the hill, dont cha think? Don’tcha? Let’s get with some of the new talent. How about Madonna, Katy Perry, Beyonce and Coldplay. Howzabout it? Check this out! Now we’re talkin’ World Peace that is real. That is real change! Real Hope! Except HOLY COW! The Illuminati is behind Beyonce, Madonna, Katy Perry and Coldplay!!

Who are the Illuminati? You don’t know? Well, stay tuned to this blog as we here at True Outsider are determined to check into this disturbing phenomenon that has been going on for centuries. Did any of you see that quick cut of Kubrick’s Eyes Wide Shut? You know, Kubrick, right? The guy who filmed the moon landing to fake out earthlings that we had landed a man on the moon? Yeah. That Kubrick!

About trueoutsider

I'm an artist.
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3 Responses to Congrats to Bob Dylan

  1. Come on Don, the man is awesome, ‘The pump don’t work cos the vandals took the handles’ this phrase alone deserves a Literature prize. I like his ‘Bobness’. Even his harmonica playing!

  2. Eric Wayne says:

    I had similar thoughts but didn’t dare express them on Facebook, as I’m beginning to fear that people are un-following en-mass because of my highly annoying and perplexing refusal to believe in Hillary. Apparently you can’t dislike both candidates, because it’s too important to choose Hillary, even if she is still pushing for a “no-fly zone” in Syria fully knowing it could lead to a war with Russia.

    My first thought on hearing about Dylan was something like, “Eh, OK, ‘Masters of War’ is one of my favorite songs, and partly because of the lyrics”. I didn’t give it any thought. Then, later, when I saw another person posting about it, and decided to dedicate some neurons to processing it, I realized this was a Nobel prize for “Literature”, and this was obviously caving to celebrity. If it were a Nobel prize for “lyrics”, than I could go along with it. But literature? Did he belt out some novels I don’t know about?

    I see this as similar to the Bjork show at MOMA – celebrities in one genre are, because of the celebrity status awarded to people in that genre, crowding out actual, unsung artists in their own fields. It’s not like Dylan and Bjork don’t have venues of their own.

    I just realized I need another word for “artist”. “Artist” has come to mean something that I am not, and don’t qualify for. I think of myself as an artist, but other people seem to take that with a grain of salt. It’s like being a magician and saying you do magic, but everyone knows your magic is just tricks, in which case you are a fraud. I could say, “self-deluded jackanapes”, but it’s too long and doesn’t have a catchy acronym. Perhaps “Irrelevant Twaddler”.

    I imagine some fiction writers and poets are asking themselves a similar question about now. If Bob Dylan is the master of literature, what are they? “Persistent Typists”? “Stack of paper fillers”?


  3. trueoutsider says:

    Dylan had a show of his thoroughly awful paintings at Gagosian, so he’s already had the Bjork stardom treatment. Sylvester Stallone has had his work shown in major venues in Russia, France and so on. Coffee table books for Paul McArtney, Tony Bennet, Frank Sinatra and so on it goes, circling the drain. Kitsch is the order of the day. Dylan is so preposterously egocentric that it’s clear he actually thinks his drawings/paintings are great masterpieces. And John Elderfield (longtime at MoMA) helped bring a show of Dylan’s “artwork” to the National Portrait Gallery in London.

    So next to Gainsboroughs, Raeburns, Turners, and so on we get Dylan’s lamentable work, but the London is already a disgrace with their Emin Hirst YBAs and relentless promotion of the banal and talentless by the Guardian (who have also been printing non-stop exultation of Dylan winning the Nobel). Let the Farce continue.

    The Con Art world has been a joke for decades where any remote standards have long since been torn down, unless one wants to consider the lowest common denominator or sales prices the standards by which so-called “art” is valued. Singularly untalented “artists” like Bob Dylan are given prominent placed at galleries like Gagosian, but with great stars like Richard Prince and Dash Snow, certainly the talentless Dylan doesn’t stand out as worse. It’s all part of the same turning art upside down so that the sludge rises to the top, where the vulgarian corporate wealthy happily lap it up. Nihilism is always in fashion, as it’s all that’s in fashion. Dylan is pure cynicism as his show at Gagosian consisted of ripping off Cartier Bresson photos while saying the show was about his travels in Asia. A big Duchampian joke, presumably. But who knows… as who gives a shit, really. That’s our current art world.

    As far as the Facebook world, and your having a different opinion than the lapdog Hive Mind that rules all things I suggest checking out Dave Eggers’ The Circle. Or watching the first episode of Season Three of Black Mirror, which is clearly borrowed from the world Eggers presents. It’s not so much a futuristic vision as clearly portraying the present as it really is by slight exaggeration.

    Anyway, the Bjork, Dylan, Bowie, Star Wars, ad nauseum shows at major museums have made transparently clear that Art Museums are little more than venues where insider investors see the value of their investments skyrocket and the public can be thrilled with the kind of entertainments that “artists” know are certain to draw big crowds willing to pay admission prices. Bread and Circus Art. Barnum and Bailey Art. All of it lowbrow.

    Dwight McDonald’s “Masscult and Midcult” written in 1960 was prescient in foreseeing Pop and where all this was headed. He was part of the Greenberg revolution and was no doubt regretting what he was instrumental in creating. High culture being turned into Greenberg/Duchamp kitsch.

    There’s a Star Wars show at the Denver Museum now. No doubt I could find countless examples if I surveyed museums around the country (and world). There was already a Star Wars show at the Brooklyn Museum in 2002. Comic Book artists have long ago been mainstreamed. Is there any high culture being made at all today, by which I mean art that is within the traditional values and standards that differentiated high culture from low?

    It’s certainly a pure reflection of our totally content-free elections where there is nothing being discussed that has any connection to reality, as the voters themselves (as your remark about FB indicates) will howl bloody murder if serious subjects that demand their attention and reading in depth are required. Easier to talk about sex and personalities. Incidentally, Bill Clinton is easily worse than Trump in their sexual harassment department but that’s something the mainstream discussion isn’t going to go near as it would mean admitting that that our politics are farcical.

    Lady Gaga and Kim Kardashian at international art fairs. Lamentable charlatans on the order of Jeffrey Deitch purvey TMZ culture as high culture. Elizabeth Peyton’s portraits of Keith Richards or David Bowie. I hardly glance at what’s going on these days as it’s just a repeat of the Deitch/Gagosian 80s. I walk by “contemporary” galleries and look in and what do I see? Consumer Conceptualism or Low Brow or anything else that is absurd and senseless on its face, with no thought given to any kind of vision at all.

    It’s visual art that denies the visual in art.

    Art is all part of the celebrity game. See not only “Steampunk’d” but

    We’ve long been treated to ludicrous shows, such as pairing the lamentable one-shot sub-Pollock imitator Cy Twombly with Nicholas Poussin. So Twombly is our new Nicholas Poussin and Dylan is the new Homer meets Sappho. And I also read in the Guardian that Chris Ware’s last big comic masteripiece (everything ware has done for three decades is a comic masterpiece) is the equivalent of James Joyce’s Ulysses.

    Yes. if Poussin, Homer and Joyce were all lobotomized I imagine that their works would resemble Twombly, Dylan and Chris Ware.

    It couldn’t be any more ridiculous. One can only imagine what succeeding generations, assuming there are any after we’ve ravaged the planet for resources while blowing other parts of it up entirely will think of John Currin porno paintings or his dimwitted pal Lisa Yuskavage day glo balloon tit babes.

    I also doubt they’ll look that fondly at the rest of the assholes making their “beautiful” landscapes, still lifes, portraits and abstracts with all the “sensitivities” and “taste” that go into art for art’s sake. (little to none)

    There’s a question that can be debated. Which is worse? The fake high art or the real low art posing as fake high art?

    What do artists think the purpose of art is anyway, particularly in a world that is fast approaching serious economic collapse? The Greenberg Matisse notion that it’s a comfortable armchair for the tired businessman to rest his weary self? Some decadent bacchanal of sexual liberation for those businessmen not to tired to fuel up with some coke and join the party?

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